“Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch” — Luke 5:4

There are days that I doubt that I am strong enough to do this. In the last months, there have been many weak moments for me. Unfortunately for my kids they have witnessed some of these. Moments when I’ve lost it, moments when I’ve gotten angry, moments when I’ve cried — alone and in front of everyone, and lots of moments on my knees praying.

It’s in my weakest moments that I begin to doubt myself. There are days I can barely keep this family together here, let alone in another country. How can a weak child of God show others strength when there are days that I just don’t have any?

The last two days I haven’t felt well. I needed to rest, but I didn’t have time. And the enemy really started to work on me. Telling me over and over that I can’t do this. You can’t do this Holly!!! And I started believing it. And just like many other mornings, God woke me early today to remind me that I can do it.

He brought me to Luke chapter five. The calling of the first disciples. It was Simon Peter. Jesus got into their boats and told them to throw their nets in the deep water. Peter told Him that he had worked all night and hadn’t caught a thing, but he will do as he said. When they finally caught fish there was so much that their boat begin to sink. When Peter saw this he fell to his knees saying, “Go away from me Lord, I am a sinful man.” And Jesus said, “don’t be afraid, from now on you will catch men.” And so Simon Peter followed Jesus.

When Jesus calls us to follow Him, He pushes us beyond our comfort and abilities. He calls us into deep water, and sometimes even deeper water. He puts us in places in our lives so that we must completely depend on Him.

A wonderful friend reminded me that I have already stepped out onto the water…and now my job is to keep my eyes upon Him. There are days when the deep water scares me to death…I feel I’m in the the unknown. There will be many days ahead that I will start to sink, but what is so awesome is that I know my God will be there to pick me up.

I believe where we have been and what God has brought us through prepared us for our journey ahead. All I need to do is keep my eyes upon “Him”.

”God doesn’t call people who are qualified. He calls people who are willing, and then He qualifies them.” — Richard Parker

– Holly